If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
