you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
