yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
