I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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