white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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