Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
