it wasn't lemon gatorade
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
