How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
