I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
