If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
