my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
