Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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