careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
