forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sober January is a disaster.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
