Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
