I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You need Xanax blowdarts
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
