Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
