My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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