So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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