why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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