Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
