I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
