so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
