i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
