I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
