pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize