Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
