Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
