I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
