you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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