Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize