It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
