Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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