I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I need to calm my uterus...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize