chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have tasted many bathrooms
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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