Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
