ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
