"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
