I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
