Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
