Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
