Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize