That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
