just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
