i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
