even my farts smell like vagina
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
