if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
