you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
