What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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