The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
