Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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