You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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