All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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