dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
