awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
