Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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