How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i out mim tonsoeep
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