Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
