Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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