Just fell off a train. Bad.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
