Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
