its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
