I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
