don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
