i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
