The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
