News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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