I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
