Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just cropdusted the office
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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