i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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