So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize