I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
